A few months back we hypothesized that upon beating the “Wax Off” challenge in Geometry Wars 2: Retro Evolved—if it were it even humanly possible to do so—a message would be broadcast on XBox Live and quickly relayed to all the single ladies on the internet whereupon torrents of eligible women the world over, hearing of your unparalleled dexterity, would be banging down your apartment door in due time.

I mention this only because it’s been almost 24 hours now and I’m starting to wonder if I and the rest of the world have different definitions of “in due time.”